My Time

I am sad that the one i care for is not giving me the attention and time that is just for me.
If the one you love is only with you in a day or a night on a weekend, won't you want that window of limited time be for you and him only?

I can not be selfish and I have no right to be...yet that time is mine and his. No kids should be in between and over us. I have no problem with other family members but him being so distracted and spending that closeness to them whom he lives with and wake up with every morning or talk with everyday on the phone is inconsiderate and selfish as it is.

It just proves that someone will be loved and chosen but it would not be me. I'M A BIG GIRL NOW THAT I CAN TAKE IT AND LIVE WITH IT! I just have more love and respect for myself now that I can not just smile and take being ignored and forgotten silently. It takes two to tango and I cannot dance the music of love if I am weeping and alone.

The beautiful thing about this is that I learn to be more open. I am more awake in my conciousness. I give more space for me to breath...and for me to move on.
My focus is not in a good place and it has to be cleared and tweaked. Afterall, I only have one chance to live and a long wait just be a on the sideline for 7 years, is no longer an option.

I think it is beautiful to learn from the lessons of the past and not let myself dragged to a long procession of hopeless romance. My time is precious and not having it in my moments is killing the future of a true unrequited love.

Have you fought for your time lately? Have you waited for as long as you can and still be sidelined? Do you feel like your existence at times is just for his convenience? Were you his priority? Can you wait more ?

I am not in a place of joy when this happens. I am moving to a different direction whether he follows me is his choice and not mine.

I am not afraid.

This is my time.