Changing Season of Choices, Hopes & Reasons to be EXCITED again!

It is September and it's slowly getting colder. I haven't even enjoyed the Summer yet I don't mind the cooler and fresher feel of breeze on my walk to work. I feel more liberated when I know my surrounding is changing. I feel like flying in different direction, like a bird looking to get settle on a new nest.

I am contemplative again of how fast days go by. I have to polish up my whole self more as I age more. I am reflective on many things around me and I thank God that I am mostly surrounded by caring people. I love the fact that I chose a lot of good company over the years and good friends that are solid on me. I have had a relationship with a wonderful partner that made it really difficult to look around and find another one... yet moving on is natural like the changing seasons.

My son tells me that I will find a good guy who will truly love and care for me and for them, too.

I will pray for more strength and peace in me before asking for another husband or partner. I can sustain my own joy and confidence yet a partner is one great experience to share my laughter and dreams with and that if I fall, I am not haplessly struggling to get up and ran again.

Autumn is my most loved time of the year.It gives me the fiery energy from it's beautiful concoction of changing colors. The lipstick reds and rusty oranges, the chocolate browns, they are the colors that invites me to change again for the better. That, what is past must FALL and be excited of the change as I treat the fallen wishes and dreams as an opportunity to make new ones , create a new beginning and be excited for the new journey.

Like seasons that change, my perspective and hopes has change. I believe I succumb to much consumerism in the last 7 years. I am still frugal yet I think my collection of shoes made me not proud of poor decisions that stuffed the void in my life with matters of unimportant. They are not extravagant in prices nor made me crawl to pay for them yet i felt trapped in that 'feel good' in accumulating those fashion pieces. Funny, how I falsely elevated my confident walk in life with possession of new shoes.

I have just enrolled on short Interior Design Course and attend my Wednesday's club I used to belong. I am now not wasting my time daydreaming of prince charming and counting my future Lotto wins. I can buy shoes now without guilt as it is not a void filler, anymore. This education and me going back to my artsy life is very filling...and fulfilling.

This is my time to clean up my unruly acts. Be braver in the midst of change. Choosing a partner to be, with compassionate and loving heart for my kids, is a gift I am willing to pray,wish and wait for. Having sweet loyal friends and caring family around is helping me express more creatively and learn the artful way of dealing and solving my miscarriage of trust and judgement to others.

Truly, I am like a bird looking to nest somewhere safer and loved. Looking out for new garden to sing gleefully with love and care... and maybe find a pair of shoes that finally fits good.